By Doug Fields, pastor at Saddleback Church
“And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are away on a journey, when you are lying down and when you are getting up again.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NLT)
The truth is, your kids need communication skills. When children don’t learn how to communicate, they find it difficult to functions in jobs and relationships.
If you ever wonder how important it is to teach your kids how to communicate, pay attention next time you go to a fast-food restaurant where teenagers work. How many times have you done that and wondered who taught them how to communicate?
Unfortunately, it’s they’re parents.
The truth is, your kids need communication skills. When children don’t learn how to communicate, they find it difficult to functions in jobs and relationships.
And, Mom and Dad, you’re the best communications teacher they have. Kids learn communication skills by talking with adults.
God designed the family as a place where parents would follow God and teach their children how to do likewise. The Bible says, “And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children.” (Deuteronomy 6:6 NLT)
You’ve got to talk to your kids to pass on your faith to them. The Bible says to talk to them no matter where you’re at – whether you’re on a journey, laying down, or getting up again. But the key is conversation.
Unfortunately, many kids have learned that the only times when adults want to talk with them is when they’ve messed up.
How do you turn the tide on that? Resist the urge to comment on everything you hear. Kids don’t mean most of what they say. They’re just testing you. So allow them to talk without making them feel you’re going to jump down their neck
Make a goal of having more dialogue in your home. Establish specific times for conversations to happen in your home – maybe around the dinner table. And when your kids talk, just listen next time.
Future fast-food customers will thank you.
“God designed the family as a place where parents would follow God and teach their children how to do likewise. The Bible says, “And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children.” (Deuteronomy 6:6 NLT)”
I totally agree. One thing I learned from someone who told me about a book he read (forget the book name) is that we need to think about as Christian parents what we want for our kids. I think we’re often guilty of lapsing into this idea of Christianity as mere morality. Often, we want successful, happy, moral kids who obey their parents and do well in life. We get more concerned about them being moral, than anything else. At least I was guilty of then when I dug in my heart.
The challenge was that as Christian parents, we ultimately ought to desire one thing for our kids. Not morality, but to love God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength. Morality is just an offshoot of that. This means teaching them over and over about the gospel. I’ve learned to practice disciplining my now 6 year old son by teaching him about repentance and about our sinfulness. I don’t demand perfection, but I point out what’s wrong, and how it’s sin, and then lead him to apologize to God and to those he wronged. I don’t demand moral perfection from him, but I always remind him that God is so loving that he always forgives us, and continues to love us. That has lead to him understanding more of the heart of God, and hopefully that leads to him loving Him.
Another thing is that we as parents should just solely defer to the church to teach the gospel to our children. I think it’s not right if we get so busy, even if it’s church ministry, that we can’t minister to our own children. It can be a team effort, but we our children are ultimately our responsibility.
Thanks again for the post Ray.
Ooops, I meant
“Another thing is that we as parents should NOT just solely defer to the church…”
randy, we are on the same page, bro! please pray for our church to make this transition.