Update #4 from Lisa Chan
Obviously…I am not meant to blog. I allow far too much time to pass, and too many things happen in the space of that time! I cannot believe December is here and we have been gone for six weeks now.
Our time with the children at Life Impact and in Thailand in general has been a true trip favorite for the whole family. Watching my older girls work so hard to help with the playground, and watching them love on the children, just made my heart want to burst. I learned a lot about them and from them. They were truly selfless and poured out their joy and their love and their hugs and kisses freely.
Some of the most stirring moments came from our worship times together. Gathered around in the “upper room” at the children’s new home, the kids began singing worship songs in Thai. If only you could have seen them with their eyes closed with their hands raised to heaven and their faces expressing their love and gratitude to Jesus. It was so beautiful, not only because they were children, but because you sensed that they knew God had rescued them and brought them to this place. It was a holy moment, and it happened every time we worshipped together.
During one of these times, with children curled up in our laps, singing their hearts out, I noticed Ellie was crying. I was a little impatient with her, thinking she was scared of a bug or something (there are lots of bugs in Thailand!). I whisper, “What’s the matter, baby?” It sounds like she answers back, “I don’t like this song.” “You don’t like this song?” I ask her incredulously. “No, mommy. I like the song…It’s BEAUTIFUL!” At this, she is just a puddle of tears. It was hard not to break down myself, as a six year old was so moved by the worship (in another language!) that she began to cry. I tell her… “that is the Spirit in you that recognizes how much these children love Jesus. It really is beautiful, baby.”
Matt 18 “Truly I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
Another amazing highlight was the day we went to the dumps to pass out fruit to the residents. Yes, I said residents. There are hundreds of families that live in the dumps, sorting through piles of trash for recyclables and plastic bags that they can turn in for a little change. When our van first stopped, we were right in front of a family’s home. A few wooden boards nailed together with a plastic tarp covering one wall. Out came the mama with a baby in her arms. The whole family came out dirty and smelly, but so happy to see us.
It honestly took my breath away. Not because of the stench but because I didn’t even know how to process it. I still don’t. I really had to fight not to cry. How do you wake up every day in mounds and mounds of trash and raise your family in a dump? They say they are here because it is a better life for them than in Burma (most are Burmese refugees).
We pass out our oranges and apples, and I can’t help but feel silly. Is this the best I have to offer? “Here’s an orange that cost me five cents and by the way, sorry you’re living in trash.”
As we walk from one end to the other, Ali Hall was behind me singing “You’re the God of this city. You’re the God of these people…” I didn’t even know what to do with those lyrics. You don’t want your people living like this God, I thought to myself.
We also sing the lyrics of another great song, “Break my heart for what breaks Yours…”
But I’ve decided that it is a heavy thing to have your heart broken. It leaves me at an impass. Can I go on doing life the way I always have? Or do I have to live differently because of what God has allowed me to see? Of who He has allowed me to love?
And saying I “HAVE to” is kind of dumb… because I “WANT to.”
Sorry to leave you on a heavier note… but I am feeling kind of heavy tonight. Thank you for your faithful prayers. We are in Hong Kong now, will update you about this busy city next time.